A Tribute to Matthew Torres
Honoring Legacy, Supporting Healing
Ryan McCollum, MDiv, LPN
Some wounds aren’t visible, but they shape the way we live every day. For many veterans and caregivers, grief is one such weight—silent yet profound, heavy yet intertwined with love and purpose.
Today, I want to honor the life and legacy of Mattew Torres, a fellow veteran, friend, and pillar of encouragement in the work we do at Focused Pathways®. Matt believed deeply in creating spaces where those struggling with isolation and emotional burdens, especially veterans, could find support and understanding. His unwavering dedication to helping others serves as a guiding light for all of us.
While he is no longer physically with us, Matt’s encouragement and commitment to holding space for healing continue to inspire what we do. This article is dedicated to his memory and the importance of carrying grief with strength and purpose—and how we can equip and support you to do the same.
The Weight of Grief and the Strength to Carry It
Grief is not about “letting go.” It’s about honoring what was lost and moving forward with love and purpose. For veterans, caregivers, and those who support others, grief often comes with layers of loneliness, exhaustion, and sometimes feelings of helplessness.
For many, the cultural expectation to “power through” can make processing these emotions even harder. However, grief isn’t something to suppress or “fix.” It’s something to integrate into our lives—with strength, purpose, and with the tools that allow us to process emotions in a healthy way.
Grief is a testament to love. By accepting its presence, we honor the memories and legacies of those we’ve lost. Our relationship with them is not over, but it does change—life is different now, and so is the way we carry them with us.
The Challenge of Managing Grief
Grief impacts much more than our emotions—it affects physical health, mental well-being, and our relationships. Ignoring it doesn’t heal the pain, and we cannot force closure to escape it.
This is especially true for veterans or first responders, who often carry invisible wounds from their service or caregiving journeys. The key lies in balanced emotional management—acknowledging the pain while preserving the connection to love and legacy.
At Focused Pathways®, we’re passionate about offering tools that make this process easier, especially for those who support others through difficult emotions in their roles as caregivers, leaders, or helpers.
One such tool is Adaptive Grief Tapping (AGT)™, a technique we’ve seen make a significant difference.
What is Adaptive Grief Tapping (AGT)™?
Adaptive Grief Tapping (AGT)™ combines acupressure-based tapping with the Adaptive Emotional Expression Framework™ to help people process grief and other difficult emotions without being consumed by them. Unlike traditional talk therapy, tapping offers a non-verbal alternative for working through overwhelming emotions. You don’t have to talk it out if you’re not ready—the practice meets you where you are.
Why It Works
Research shows that tapping on specific acupressure points helps calm the emotional center of the brain, reducing stress and enabling more regulated emotional responses. For men and veterans who often struggle to label or verbalize emotions, this technique provides a safe starting point for emotional processing.
Understanding Grief & the Wheel of Emotions
One of the greatest barriers to processing grief is finding the words to describe it. The Wheel of Emotions—a resource we’re offering for free—serves as a practical tool for putting names to what you’re feeling.
Studies show that being able to articulate emotions is critical for emotional processing and personal wellness. That’s why we encourage using the Wheel of Emotions alongside tools like Adaptive Grief Tapping (AGT)™ and the Adaptive Emotional Expression Framework™. When you can name what you’re experiencing, you can integrate it into your growth process more effectively.
How to Start
Here’s a simple 3-step practice to help you on your grief-processing journey:
1. Pause & Acknowledge
Take a moment to sit with your emotions. Breathe deeply and give yourself permission to feel. Grief is valid; recovery and growth is an ongoing process.
2. Tap & Process
Use Adaptive Grief Tapping (AGT)™ to gently tap on acupressure points while focusing on the specific emotion you’re experiencing.
3. Name & Integrate
Use the Wheel of Emotion to identify and label your feelings. Reflect on what comes up and consider writing about it or sharing it with your Adaptive Grief Tapping (AGT) Specialist™.
Honoring Matt’s Legacy
Matt Torres encouraged those around him to meet their grief with courage, faith, and compassion. His dedication to creating spaces of support for veterans and others continues to guide our mission at Focused Pathways®—to provide tools for carrying grief with purpose.
Finding Strength in the Community
You don’t have to carry difficult emotions alone. Whether you’re grieving, navigating isolation, or seeking ways to support others, Focused Pathways® is here to walk alongside you.
If you’re struggling to express your feelings, start by downloading our free Wheel of Emotions Tool. It’s designed to help you better understand and process your emotions so that you can move forward, one step at a time.
Carry On with Purpose
Grief isn't about overcoming or silencing painful emotions; it's about acknowledging them as a natural part of life's journey. By embracing these feelings and learning to live alongside them, we find resilience and strength in their wake. Grief is about carrying love, honoring legacies, and finding the strength to continue. You can transform your grief—not by forgetting but by forging purpose from the pain.
➡️ Download your free Wheel of Emotions below.
From all of us at Focused Pathways®, know that you are not alone on this path. Together, we can honor, carry, and continue forward with love and strength.
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